Know your history onion.

Were you the kid who was hopelessly obsessed with your history texts and look forward to every lesson just so you could find out more about the “political bromance between Stalin and Lenin”, Hitler and his “people killing project” and how the United States is just a phenomenal douchebag. Well I was.

I don’t really understand why there are some who absolutely abhore the subject. It is fundamentally just a lesson in story telling. The lecterer tells you a story about Mussolini, and you tell it back to him in the exam. Simple and fantastic as that.

Well, to be honest, people in the really old days were  a lot more interesting than us. They may not dress well, practice good hygiene and have alot more children than we do, but they do things with a lot more conviction and that makes them legends in their own right.  For example, they don’t take toilet breaks in the middle of writing a blog post, no, they don’t even waste their time blogging. They either go out to the fields to grow veggies for their family, mine gold, or they are sailing new seas and conquering new territories. We, on the other hand, are too busy twittering about eating broccoli, a new bottle of hair gel or the latest model of I-phone to care.

But the down side to history-lovin’  is, unless you aspire to be a teacher, there’s really not much use for it in real life. You can’t buy yourself a new Xbox just because you know Gorbachev’s middle name (it’s Sergeyvik), although you might become a Wikipedia superstar with that knowledge.

 Well, I find the answer to this most insoluble pancake of a conundrum in The Most Serene Republic.

The Most Serene Republic is the sobriquet of formerly independent Venice under the rule of the Doges, which was regarded as the “Most Serene Republic of Venice”.

There you go, you make reference to obscure historical events and phrases in your music, or even your band name, and you become unbearably cool for it.

In short, and to sidetrack from the general topic at hand for a while, The Most Serene Republic is a 7 piece band based in Canada that sounds exactly like a younger, hipper version of  Broken Social Scene. This means they are a bunch of cool kids who are not quite ripe muscially, joining forces so they can have brillantly successful solo careers after that. Their music is perfect for a laid back sunday; it feels like either a warm handshake, or being wrapped snuggly in quilted patchwork of quirky trombones, pianos, guitars, vibraphones and banjos on a rainy night.



Ok, back to the topic at hand, so now you realize there is one cool thing you could do with  your history knowledge databank.  I’ve came up with a list of other possible band names that could be derived from the archives of the olden times:

Good Names:
1) Ping Pong Diplomacy
2) Bolshevik (sounds vintage)
3) Black Hawk
4) Watergate
5) The Speakeasy (this one is too cool, from what i know, its the on of the few places to get alcohol when it was banned in the prohibitin period)
6) The Great Depression

Bad Names:
1) The holocaust (not funny, yet. ok, not funny ever)
2) Adolf Hitler/The Pure Aryan Nazi (kinda funny, but no one would buy your music)
3) Charlie Chaplin (because he looks like Hitler without the hat)
4) The Anglo-Dutch Treaty (because it is kind of lame)
5) Major General William Farquhar (for obvious reasons)
6) Franz Ferdinand (because it has been taken)
7) The Ku Klux Klan (unless you are a racist, and a dipshit for that matter).

So here, you go, a valuable lesson learnt. Meanwhile, here is my favourite Most Serene Republic Track for your pleasure:

Vessels of a Donor Look (from their new album “And the ever expanding universe” out on July 14th.)

Last but not least, Lee Kuan Yew, I love you, for you are undoubtedly one of the most inspiring legends in our island’s history. (a strong contender would be that Lion that Sang Nila Utama discovered. ok just joking.)

Link and photo credits: http://www.cavacool.com

Create your own love story

I got so excited about this that I couldn’t even type in  my blog’s address properly at first.

I’m not too sure what boat shoes are meant for, but it reminds me of old love and the faultless grace of a well schooled gentleman. Timberland’s new “Design your own boat shoes” project injects a bit of modern charisma into the classic, dazzling it to pantone perfection.

I wish that one day I’ll meet a guy who treads the wet morning grass in boat shoes, a buttoned up checked shirt complete with wispy fringe and Chabon fiction in hand.

But of course, by the looks of it, in real life, the guy could also very well be dandy. Reality sucks.

Create your own boatshoes at Timberland’s website. Even if you cannot afford a pair, its still good boring fun.

Divine Surrender

 

Amidst the chaotic miasma of raging neon, bitten flora and rock chick derelicte, it’s easy to lose our way. Which is why every once it a while, we throw in the towel and raise the white flag. The results are mighty fine and divine I’ll say. This summer, the clouds are back in fashion.

Picture credits: Garance Dore, Fashion Squad, The Cherry Blossom Girl

You and me. Outside.

Dear Sun, you’ve been such a showoff! I mean the heat! It’s impossible! You think you’re the boss of the Solar System so you can impose such monstrousity upon us? People tell me we should place priority on formulating a vaccine for the swine flu, worrying about the ailing economy and helping the media get over the loss of Michael Jackson (R.I.P, MJ). You want to know what I think? I think the most important thing we should do is to assemble a team of astronauts to land on the Sun and stick a freaking American flag up it’s arse.

Ok, maybe I was too harsh. After all, that douche is probably one of the major reasons why I am still alive. But I’ve been sick a couple of times last last month alone because of the heat; I have enough phlegm to fill the drains of Singapore, Johore and Batam. And they are all trapped in a mysterious place in my head which is nowhere near my throat.

Don’t blame me for lashing out on natural forces having just posted another entry about being eco-lovin’. The heat’s making me emo, jealous, and batshit bitchy. My friend just told me that he thought he saw me at Balaclava hanging out with my Chinese boyfriend last Friday night. Well, last friday night, I didn’t go to Balaclava; last Friday night I went to the toilet and read 8-days while I shat. That just about sums up my weekend.

Besides that, it could not have been me at Balaclava on Friday night because my boyfriend is Caucasian.

And also imaginary.

But I would not leave my entry without constructive advice. Drink lotsa water and also cough syrup. Because it makes you high and happy. And also less bitchy.

Simple Satisfaction

Ribbon laces! High!

Simple is a company dedicated to producing sustainable, eco-friendly shoes using materials such as car tyres, coconut, hemp, cork (thank god i didn’t mispell that. and yes, i love an immature laugh or two), recycled “inner tubes” and a good heart.  Some of their shoes are even “Vegan-Friendly”(it means they don’t scrutinise you when you dismiss meat on the table). Bono would be proud.

God Help the Girl

We, girls, and I’m not the first quote this, were probably created with a sense of humour. Sometimes we’re subtle and delicate like a breeze, other times we’re all wet cheeks and making a scene. We save ourselves for our Frog Prince, but ignore the fact that in the real world, it works the other way around. We are scientists, analyzing data via  text messages and voice mails, or conducting experiments to test our boyfriends who may as well have been the closest approximate of an android/robot that our human existence has ever seen. We’re sometimes artists of the abstract when we try to have an intellectual conversation with our dogs/significant other, and philosophers when we become obsessed with “what if” scenarios. We’re mostly fatalistic and we have a better imagination than you do, so, dear God, that’s why we’re in need of a little bit of saving once in a while.

Stuart Murdoch is no God, but it’s enough.

Learn more about God Help the Girl here. (it’s like an american idol for women who may not be american.) The album is already available at HMV, and the movie will be released in 2010.

picture credits: www.belleandsebastian.it

EpiphanyTifanny

Like always, Mew finds every opportunity to play in one wicked signature to another whenever they can, and their latest single, Repeaterbeater, is no exception. (Yes it seems they’re very into rhyming nowadays, could be their way of introducing to us their hip hop tendencies while letting us off at the same time)

Listening to this is like trying to cheat time, tripping over the milliseconds of rushed guitars and lingering at the pulsating beats of agressive emotion. And just as I was pondering over the ugly introduction and closing, I realized that the song is meant to be played in a loop, hence the title.  Seems the Danish fellows have not completely lost their bearing.

Yup, that’s my epiphany of the week, nothing’s that’s gonna save the world.

Download Repeaterbeater here.

I’ve got one hand in my pocket….

The cigarette is tres chic as a fashion accessory, isn’t it? Makes you look so very delectably “derelict”. I’m not trying to advocate the wrong values here, I’m  just saying, cigarettes are meant to be worn not “smoken”. I mean, your gladiator sandals are also very chic, but you don’t smoke it right?

Maybe I was trying to prove a point there, but I got lost somehow.

Pictures taken from the Sartorialist.

I think it was a bad idea when you said you wanted to interview me.

I don’t know whether omy will actually get around to publishing this, so I’ll just post this as my first attempt at tackling an “interview”, you know for fun and laughter, peace and joy. And also out of spite.

Tell us about yourself in 50 words.

One night, I woke up with a lightning-shaped scar on my forehead. I figured it must be something significant, hence I decided to start blogging to document everything that happens after that. Nothing much does. Which is why I actually have time to even describe myself in 50 words.

Yeah right. I know what you are thinking and what you are doing with your eyes right now.

How long have you been blogging and why did you start blogging?

Only about one year. I started blogging because I heard that you don’t have to pay taxes if you earn your living as a blogger. Is that true, Lee Kuan Yew?

How do you feel as one of the finalists in the second Singapore Blog Awards? What do you think is your chance of winning?

Winning? That would be a very unnatural pancake.

Who do you think are the strongest bloggers in the category you are nominated for and why?

This would be the most insoluble pancake of all. I think Kris Allen is sweet, but Adam Lambert’s gonna win.

Name some of the bloggers whom you look up to and why (need not be in the running for the Singapore Blog Awards, and can mention overseas bloggers too)?

There’s this guy on the web called Merriam Webster? He’s rad, never fails to inspire me. BEST BLOGGER EVER.

Hottest blogger online.

What would you like to say to your blog readers and those who voted and supported you?

I am actually Dolph Lungren. I was in Universal Soldier and rocked as the bad guy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vampire Weekend – White Sky

Picture credits: www.spin.com

The sky is clearly visible from the ocean floor and the fishes are having a riot! And somewhere, someone’s foot just got peed on after being stung by an over-excited sea  urchin.

Ya-ee-yah-Ahhh, the description’s about right..