You and me. Outside.


Dear Sun, you’ve been such a showoff! I mean the heat! It’s impossible! You think you’re the boss of the Solar System so you can impose such monstrousity upon us? People tell me we should place priority on formulating a vaccine for the swine flu, worrying about the ailing economy and helping the media get over the loss of Michael Jackson (R.I.P, MJ). You want to know what I think? I think the most important thing we should do is to assemble a team of astronauts to land on the Sun and stick a freaking American flag up it’s arse.

Ok, maybe I was too harsh. After all, that douche is probably one of the major reasons why I am still alive. But I’ve been sick a couple of times last last month alone because of the heat; I have enough phlegm to fill the drains of Singapore, Johore and Batam. And they are all trapped in a mysterious place in my head which is nowhere near my throat.

Don’t blame me for lashing out on natural forces having just posted another entry about being eco-lovin’. The heat’s making me emo, jealous, and batshit bitchy. My friend just told me that he thought he saw me at Balaclava hanging out with my Chinese boyfriend last Friday night. Well, last friday night, I didn’t go to Balaclava; last Friday night I went to the toilet and read 8-days while I shat. That just about sums up my weekend.

Besides that, it could not have been me at Balaclava on Friday night because my boyfriend is Caucasian.

And also imaginary.

But I would not leave my entry without constructive advice. Drink lotsa water and also cough syrup. Because it makes you high and happy. And also less bitchy.

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