Programmed to love (a.k.a Romeo & Juliet & Zombies & Androids)


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J
uliet: Oh Romeo! Why art thou broken in so many parts?!
Romeo: Oh Juliet! My dear Juliet! I saw you lying pale and lifeless in the crypt and I though you had already been attacked by zombies and died! In that case I’ll rather join you than be eaten by you when you wake. So I drank the zombie poison and while waiting for you, got a little emotional and started attacking myself. You know, zombies can get VERY emotional sometimes.

Juliet: Oh this is stupid. So now you become zombie.
Romeo: That’s about right.
Romeo bites Juliet in the neck.

Juliet (with blood gushing out from a torn artery in the throat): WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO!?
Romeo: Oh for fuck’s sake, Juliet, for once can’t you just accept my affections without over-reacting?
Juliet: If I could readily do that we wouldn’t be star-crossed lovers isn’t it? That’s what they still call us right? How could I love you plainly when I know I’ve got the enemy gene? Plus, you are also a robot.
Romeo: So what? I was programmed to love. Love to me is a simple equation. And also, I am an android, not robot. We’re superior to robots.
Juliet: So what the fuck should we do now?! I’ve got a vial of zombie antidote, but we’re both turning into zombies and its only enough for one. Can you even become a zombie?! Being an android and all.
Romeo: Of course! When I become infected with the zombie virus, i just become 10 times more powerful and emit more radiation than the normal human zombie.
Juliet: You always make it so difficult for me. Fine, I’ll let you have the anti-dote, since I am rather touched that you thought of sacrificing yourself for me and all.
Romeo: Honey, I don’t know how to say this, but you are kind of slow.
Juliet: What the fuck?! It was just getting romantic.
Romeo: Oh you have no idea what is called romantic. You humans always spend way too much time on the wrong side of the equation.

And so, Romeo threw the vial containing the zombie antidote into the roaring inferno of the volcano. 

The end.

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